BACKSTAGE PASS

Ms. Director :             Good Job, people! ::applauds:: Let's give ourselves a hand...Dinner party in 15.

Kagale:             ::throws his breastplate on the floor angrily:: Damnit Ger! You didn't have to chomp down so hard, you know!

Ger:             ::smirks:: Gee, do you think?

Kagale:             ::points to his bruised shoulder:: YES!

Ger:             ::thinks:: I don't know...I thought it achived a certain sense of realisim.

Kaglae:             ::growls through his teeth at Ger::Gee, do you think?!

Lucy:             ::stumbles from the stage holding dozens of bouquets of flowers:: H...Hey! Kay Honey...*oof* d-do you think you could lend me a paw here?

Pawma:             ::fuming:: I didn't even get a frikkin' single line! ::mimics:: "Just pour the wine"...All of you can go to hell!

Kagale:             Sure thing. ::goes to grab som e flowers:: You sure have a lot of fans...

Ger:             ::slips his tail around Kagale's leg and suspends him in midair::

Kagale:             ...?!? HEY!

Lucy:             ::hands Ger the flowers:: Thank you, Ger. Your so sweet. ::pats his head::

Ger:             ::beams:: Aww shucks.

Kagale:             Hey! I offered to help!

Ger:             ::drops Kagale:: Twit...

Kagale:             ::pops up from his fall:: Why you dirty little cockblocker!

Ger:             Watch your mouth, lunchmeat! Your barely worth the trouble to pick out the teeth as it is! ::goes toe to toe with Kagale::

Lucy:             ::looking at a card:: Now, now boys...I'm not cleaning up the mess if you two kill each other...

Ms Director:             ::sighs:: Actors...::shakes head in dismay::

Ger:             ::runs behind Lucy's back sticking out his tounge :: Nyah Nyah!...::blinks:: What have you got there, Lucy?

Lucy:             ::leans back on Ger a bit:: Some of the people in the audience sent me cards.

Ger:             ::reads:: "Love your work, Babe. Do you have an agent? Visit my castng couch...555-SLCK"...wha?

kagale:             ::reads too:: "Hey Princess. I'll make you my queen! email addie PMoKing@yahooboy.com"..?!

Lucy:             ::reads:: " Hope you like the roses. Come by later for dinner. @ hotel across from theater. Follow the trail of rose petals..." Aww. How sweet.

Kagale and Ger:             ::read the last one over:: "Across the street"?

Ger:             ::looks at Kagale:: You know...I could eat him...

Lucy:             ::warningly:: Ger...

Kagale:             ::nods:: By all means do so.

Lucy:             KAY!!

Ger:             ::slinks off out of dodge::

Kagale:             Don't they know your seeing someone?! ::fur bristles::

Lucy:             Maybe. ::scowls at him::

Kagale:             So...you don't want Ger to eat them? ::looks down::

Lucy:             It would hurt my fan base ::scowls harder::

Ger:             ::comes back with Kagale's sisters close behind:: Hey, Lucy...What's a stoat?

Mashama:             ::to Kagale:: You were great! That fight scene was so realistc! ::hugs him::

Kagale:             Well, I tried. ::grins::

Ayanna:             ::to Kagale:: Mama Mekeda and Baba Mugo are at the dinner party. Mom and I brought some food.

Lucy:             A stoat? It's a brown furred ermine...like a mink.

Ger:             ::nods:: Oh...Okay! ::runs off::

Mashama:             ::to Kagale:: ...And you fiancee is here too...::scowls and makes a face::

Kagale:             ::winces:: N-Nini?...Umm Lucy?

Lucy:             ::folds her arms and looks away:: What? Why should I listen to you. Your cheating on your fiancee

Kagale:             Aww! Come on!!!

Vicky:             ::calls::Hurry up...everythig is ready. Let's eat!

The Dinner Party

Amyah:             ::pouts and whines:: Ohh...Where's Ger? He said he would see me after the show. But he dissapeared.

Pawma:             ::scowls with hand on her chin:: He'd better show his scaly hide soon...::grumbles::

Ms.Director:             Has anyone seen the guest stars?

Ger:             ::scurries up :: "Scuse Me, Ms. Director Lady...

Amyah:             ::perks up:: Look! There's Ger. ::waves::

Pawma:             ::waves with feign enthusiasim:: Oh...Hi Ger....*mumbles* you cheese hound...

Ms. Director:             What Ger? Your late.

Ger:             ::motions for her so he can whisper:: Well...you see *whisper*

Ms. Director:             ::face blanches:: Oh...I see. ::clears her throat and steps up to the microphone::May I have everyones's attention...I just recived some disheartening news of the loss of our two guest stars. Let us bow our heads in a moment of silence.

Ger:             ::pops up:: And just for the record...Stoat does not taste like chicken. It tastes like stoat. Otters taste like chicken. Now let us pray...

Pawma:             ::with her head bowed:: ...that no one else is cast as a guest star with Ger. Amen.

Nini:             ::as they raise their heads:: I think he ate the wrong otter.

Lucy:             Pleasure to see you too, Nini.

Nini:             Where is that loser lover of yours?

Lucy:             I don't know, Nini. Why don't you ask your fiancee.

Nini:             ::finally turns to face Lucy:: You know, there isn't a single female of my kind that woud have him willingly. So...I guess he would have to settle for a weak lower mammal like you, Huh?

Lucy:             ::narrows her eyes, as the "High Noon" backdrop falls beside them. A tumbleweed rolls by. Everyone ducks for cover::

Nini:             ::turns up her nose with a smirk:: And at your age too? You should be ashamed.

Lucy:             &%$#@%^@*!!**!!!!...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.THIS PORTION OF "BACKSTAGE PASS" HAS BEEN PRE-EMPTED DUE TO EXPLICIT CONTENT AND WILL NOT BE SHOWN-THANK YOU
-Brought to you by "Backstage Pass UNCUT!" on sale now for $21.95. Get your copy today!

And now back to the fight...

Lucy:             ... filthy stank-assed hoe! You don't even like him!:: is being held back b Ger::

Nini:             That isn't the point, you whore!:: is being held back by Kagale::

Lucy:             ::glares at Kagale:: And why are you on her side?!

Ger:             ::scowls:: Yeah. Why?

Kagale:             ::blinks:: Me? I'm just holding her...

Nini:             ::elbows Kagale in the gut:: Get your filhty paws off me!

Kagale:             ::folds:: Uhhnng~~~::starts to fall over::

Ger:             ::laughs and lets Lucy go::

Lucy:             How dare you touch another female like that! ::socks Kagale on the way down sending him falling the other way::

Ger:             ::munches on some popcorn:: Yeah, Kay. How dare you.

Nini:             ::laughing::

Lucy:             ...And THIS is for hitting Kay! ::sends a fist into Nini's jaw::

::insert more "UNCUT!" footage here::

LATER...
Ger:             ::watches over an unconsious Kagale:: Boy, I'm lucky I don't have female problems like yours...::shakes his head:: You look terrible

Pawma:             ::walks up::Hey Ger! Spit just showed up a little bit ago.

Ger:             ::gulps:: W-WHAT?!

Pawma:             ::smiles triumphantly:: Yeah...and Amyah is looking for you too...*mumbles* you jerk.

Ger:             ::face twitches:: Ah..Amyah?

Spit:             ::slithers her arms around his neck:: We perform mating ritual now, yessssss?

Ger:             Damnit woman! Your father would flay my hide...and more importaaaACK!

Amyah:             Eeeee! Ger!::glomps him:: Your so cute! -<3 Let's snuggle and play house!

Spit:             ::hisses:: Ger is dragon! He will fertilize my eggs, Grasseater!

Ger:             Girls...::meekly:: please...let me go.

Amyah:             ::lowers her horn at Spit::Ger is not a naughty dragon like you. He will stay to play with me!

Spit:             He is my mate! Not yours!::snarls::

::insert footage for "UNCUT2!" sequel here
-Only for $19.95::